It is said, we humans are the master of change.  Most of us do not like change.  Especially when everything is working as it should be. There is one person who changed my entire life for the better and it was worth the change.  It started when Patrick sent a letter to me, Dedeth, twenty-five years ago.  I opened his letter and read it.  The words were so beautiful, full of honesty.  I started answering his letter immediately.  As our writing continued, our relationship began to grow and our openness with each other became clear.  He was absolutely sure of his love for me.  Patrick proposed to me.  My life changed in a big way for the better.  Because of one person – Patrick! Without his endless love, I would not have been able to feel and experience the beauty of our relationship for twenty-three years.  It’s amazing one person can change someone’s life and that person devoted his entire life without regards for himself to me. Patrick gave me the most precious gift of love, our daughter, Phaedra Felice.  Such a humble, incredible gentleman – he gave his complete love to me and made sure that Phaedra and I were taken care of.  My Patrick was the one person that really changed my life for the better.  I thought it was important to share this with my readers.

Sincerely,
Dedeth 
www.dedethford.com

One of Patrick's letters

November 8
Sunday eve-
My very dearest Dedeth-
As you can see by the dates on these two letters I have pondered a great deal before deciding to send it to you. I have weighed my feelings, want I want from life and in a woman to share it with me. Because you are so loving and
honest with me I want to be extremely careful not to say or so something that might be unfair or hurt you in any way. But, the feelings I have for you are very strong and I hope with all my heart they are right. So, I am going to send the other letter I wrote a few days ago and trust what is in my
heart...and what I believe is in your heart. I think that I would be very happy with you as my wife.We would not have a great deal of material things
to begin with but with both of us working...and working together I’m confident we would be comfortable as far as the necessities of life are concerned. Most important I think we could be very happy with each other sharing love,caring and respect. You seem so very sure that you want to be my wife and that I can give you the happiness and love that you are seeking. If you are absolutely sure at this time then I am asking you to marry me...to be my only love...to share my life, my mind, my soul and my both as one. I will wait your answer and our feelings and know you will be totally and completely honest with me because I know that is the only way you can be because there is such goodness in your heart. So, at this point, there is little more for me to do or say except I love you and wish you were here with me at this very moment so I could hold you, kiss you and make love to you so gently and sweetly.

All my love,
Patrick

Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2013 03:27:58 -0700
From: traillaurie@yahoo.com
To: dedethford@hotmail.com

Dedeth:  I spent Saturday reading your book.    He was obviously literate, smart, poetic and wrote beautiful letters.  What a long complicated journey you made to be together.    How hard it must have been to come from the Philippines to a snowy place like Colorado.  And what a long and winding road it is to follow all the paperwork involved in Visas etc.  I think your relationship is unique and beautiful.  Who knows where life will take us and how we get there it just matters that we do.  Your book is a wonderful tribute to Pat and your journey here.  How hard it must have been to be married in the Philippines and then to have to wait to be together.  And how hard it is to do all the stuff it takes to make it happen when you are not wealthy.  Pat's persistence shows how much he loved you. Were you really a virgin when you married how extra special.  When I got to one of his last letters about his illness I cried.  For you and for me because I remembered Wayne being ill and losing him.  Regarding the dreams I have them often.  My friend in Mexico who is a psyc  True love doesn't die it just changes form and if there is a god we will see our loved ones again.  I can't say I believe that but I hope it is true.  You have a wonderful spirit and made the right choice and you have a beautiful daughter from that.  I am the only one left from my family as I didn't have any children but I had a wonderful man and so did you....laurie

Life of Love for Atema and Atepa
5.0 out of 5 stars Please read & feel the passion., August 3, 2013

By 
Lorraine Domke 

This review is from: Life of Love for Atema and Atepa (Hardcover)
Heart to heart story of how two people found love through writing each other,when they finally meet its wonderful.Learning each others customs and finally getting together.Touches the heart ,feel the longing to be together, and hard parting they go through. Dedeth thanks for sharing your story. Lorraine 


5.0 out of 5 stars Life of Love, July 9, 2013

By 
40-love "behrel" (Port Charlotte, FL) - 

This review is from: Life of Love for Atema and Atepa (Paperback)
This is a wonderfully unique way of presenting a true love story from beginning to end. The letters that traveled back and forth between Dedeth, a citizen of the Philippines, and Patrick who was living in Colorado at the time, beautifully describe their growing love for each other. Interspersed between the letters is a series of well-written narratives that describe their long-awaited coming together in the Philippines, Patrick's return to the United States, and, then, his return to the Philippines to help with the completion of the documents that allowed Dedeth to travel to the United States with him. What is so compelling about this book is the dedication of these two people to each other as they overcame uncounted obstacles to spending the rest of their lives together.
5.0 out of 5 stars Life of love for Atema and Atepa, July 1, 2013

By 
flobeth - See all my reviews

This review is from: Life of Love for Atema and Atepa (Kindle Edition)
A beautiful story of genuine love and commitment . It highlights the value of traditional courtship and marriage. Love the format!
5.0 out of 5 stars Life of love for Atema and Atepa, May 19, 2013

By 
Docal - See all my reviews
This review is from: Life of Love for Atema and Atepa (Hardcover)
A beautiful love story few people attain. Showing how living by values and principle has wonderful benefits. Patience for a relationship to develop results in contentment and happiness without the necessity of material needs.

5.0 out of 5 stars Heartfelt., May 19, 2013

By 
bpapamarty - 

This review is from: Life of Love for Atema and Atepa (Paperback)
Heartfelt. Genuine without pretense. An inspiring love story of two from diverse cultures who came together through the honesty and force of their letters. A good read for those who appreciate lovers who wore their emotions on their emotions in their sleeves.

5.0 out of 5 stars Life of Love for Atema and Atepa, May 12, 2013

By 
mfskaggs - See all my reviews

This review is from: Life of Love for Atema and Atepa (Hardcover)
Amazing story told from the heart with actual letters to and from two lovers separated by thousands of miles. They knew true love like few people will ever experience in a lifetime. Very personal account of two true loves. Very worth the read!

My life began in a small village located in the central part of the Philippines. In my family, the day a child was able to reach the top of the stove was when they were ready to work on the farm. So I was soon working all day planting rice in the muddy fields with the hot sun bearing down on me—not to mention all of the pesky leeches that were eager to grab on to me and suck my blood! During the lunch breaks my brother and I talked about what we wanted in life. We wondered what our future would hold.

He said to me, “Ate, for sure I will not be a farmer working in the sun all day! How about you, Ate? What do you want in life?”

“I want to obtain a degree—and someday find a loving husband on the other side of the world. I believe that there must be a partner for me, somewhere, but not here.”

“Ah, Ate, you are a dreamer,” he said.
“It doesn’t hurt to dream,” I said.
I was able to go to college by working in the school. I worked in the
cafeteria and cleaned the school campus, including the bathrooms. One day, during break time, while working in the cafeteria, I was reading some magazines. One of the magazines, called Asian Presentations, in particular caught my attention. It said that you can put your own photo and profile in the magazine for other people to see. So, along with a few of my friends in college, I had my photo put in the magazine. I didn’t really think much of it. Little did I know, on the other side of the world, a man named Patrick was looking through this magazine. 

Patrick was the first gentleman that I received a letter from. After reading his letter I instantly knew he was going to be the one that I will spend the rest of my life with. His words were so humble and his letters were written with such honesty. I decided to commit myself to Patrick and as our correspondence continued, our relationship grew and became more intimate.

The time that followed was a long and winding road. We did not have any physical contact, but we met through our letters which were full in love. These letters were the only way we were able to correspond. Once he proposed through his letters, I was the happiest person that I could imagine.  Penning back and forth, the difficulties of being in a long distance relationship began to get more intense. There were rules and regulations that we needed to follow in order to get all of the necessary documents in order to get married while living in different countries. The worst part was that back then, we depended on the postal services to send all the papers and letters and that could take a month before we would receive the necessary documentation. Sometimes a government’s red tape would cause further delays .What made my long distance relationship with Patrick so difficult also had to do with our financial situation --  we were destitute . It ended up taking more than a year before our marriage finalized. 

Once we were married we obviously wanted to be together right away. It was such a struggle with days and nights filled with loneliness and emptiness as I could not immediately come to Patrick in the United States. I had to apply for a visa before I was able to come to the States. We were only able to spend ten days together after our wedding before Patrick returned to his home.

Because of Patrick's determination, persistence, love, passion and understanding were the basis of how our marriage endured a life time. Patrick was the love of my life and will always remain in my heart.